8 Comments for this Post

• Katrina
  February 14, 2013 at 3:51 pm
  
  

  

  Boy. I am so glad you did approached this issue. I feel fairly certain where I stand on most things, but this is an area I’ve anguished over.

  First off, I can’t believe people leave such really poopy messages on your facebook page. Some people are just bizarre when they think they’ve caught someone in a perceived inconsistency or mistake. Like they’re walking on water or something. I remember seeing one such poopy comment someone had left for you and I called my hubby over and said, “Can you believe the nerve? Colleen would never ever talk to this person the way they’re talking to her.” I said as much under that post in as diplomatic and friendly a way I could and the offending message disappeared within 10 seconds. He he he.

  But to get to the point, I’ve often felt perplexed when taking my nieces out for lunch and they want to order something with animal meat. Or how we’d handle Thanksgiving at our house if people wanted to bring a dead turkey. Or my last birthday dinner, when my Dad brought chicken curry for everyone and a small vegetable curry for my husband and I. (I appreciated the gesture, as my Dad has been completely supportive, but I was genuinely bummed to have meat grace my table again and to also feel like the outsider on my own birthday.) And I didn’t know how I felt about voicing that. I’ve often felt my tires spin from overthinking situations like this.

  Thank you thank you for being you and for sharing these thoughts. You’ve no idea how much clarity this brought me on how to approach such situations. Now if we could just get you as the new Siri voice-of-reason on iPhone.

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• Amanda
  February 28, 2013 at 10:19 am
  
  

  

  Hi Katrina – it’s great to hear from you! Yes, it IS difficult knowing how to react to friends and family in these situations but I think we have to always remember what Colleen says about it being your house and your rules. And, although I know you are vegan from an ethical standpoint (as am I), we should not forget that if this were a medical issue – if you were deadly allergic to meat or shellfish or dairy or something (anything!) – you would absolutely not allow folks to bring that thing into your home. So it’s not wrong to use that same logic in an ethical situation. And you’re not overthinking it – you’re trying to be a good person and make sure everyone you invite to your home is comfortable and feels welcomed! The problem is that you, yourself, now feel like an outsider, which is not how it should be. Keep working on it – it’s a process, and one that will get easier as you practice it more. Hope this helps, Amanda

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• Karlie Shah
  February 15, 2013 at 9:24 am
  
  

  

  What a wonderful podcast (as always) I must say that I love how you presented this one, it is a journey! I love to hear your experiences, they really do help me feel confident in how I deal with similar situations. You are an inspiration! Thank you for your work!

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• Amanda
  February 28, 2013 at 10:14 am
  
  

  

  Thank you, Karlie! We’re so glad that Colleen’s podcast helped to settle things in your mind. Building confidence about how to interact as a vegan in a non-vegan world is so very important and just to know that we’re not alone in these experiences is always helpful too. Thank YOU for your support and kind words! Amanda

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• Pj Priest
  February 16, 2013 at 12:52 pm
  
  

  

  I liked how you put it that “it’s just too painful” I think it’s an efficient way of putting it. I haven’t had a problem setting these boundaries in my home. I’m lucky that my husband is also vegan and we live in a tiny apartment, so we don’t do too much hosting. However, the problem we come across is when our non-vegan friends invite us out to dinner. Sometimes we are able to play it safe and recommend a vegan restaurant but neither of us are comfortable eating at a table where animal products are being consumed. It makes me sad and quite frankly, physically ill. I still don’t know how to broach that subject. I’d love to hear your take on eating amongst non-vegan food.

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• JoLynn
  February 18, 2013 at 1:03 pm
  
  

  

  I now feel more confident in knowing how to talk with someone if they give me a non vegan food item. I think you handled the situations wonderfully! Something happened one time when a friend of my husband’s came to visit and he knew I was making vegan chili. The friend brought some fresh berries along with a bag of shredded cow cheese. As he is taking the dairy cheese out he says to me “You don’t mind if I brought this do you? I like cheese with my dairy and I knew you wouldn’t have any”. I didn’t know how to respond at that because it came as a shock to me. I just said ok but I was thinking that it was quite rude of them. Now I know how I would respond so thank you.

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• Axel Lilliestråle
  February 27, 2013 at 12:29 pm
  
  

  

  This comment has really nothing to do with this podcast (which I enjoyed). There is a book out there called “The Vegetarian Myth”. I tried (I really did) to read the first chapter but there it felt unserious and talked about the “extreme” vegan diet blablabla. The argument seemed to be taken from the paleo idea. Have anyone tried to read it and do anyone (perhaps Colleen?) have more to say about this book?

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